Ponderisms

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by EQBob, Apr 4, 2009.

  1. EQBob

    EQBob New Member

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    Ponderisms

    Ponderisms

    I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

    Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

    The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

    Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

    Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

    In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

    How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

    Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?'

    Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.'

    If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

    Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
  2. dafoxs

    dafoxs New Member

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    Why is it when you try to make a baby, It takes forever, but when you spend that one night with that bar fly, you get a call in nine months.
  3. n99hockey

    n99hockey Moderator Staff Member

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    whats the deal with grape nuts cereal...theres no grapes...theres no nuts!
    (al la Jerry Seinfeld)
  4. sherri

    sherri Active Member

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    "What's up with Ovaltine???"
  5. EQBob

    EQBob New Member

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    And some of the old standards.....

    why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway
  6. cchannelz06

    cchannelz06 New Member

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    If nothing sticks to teflon how do they get it to stick to pots and pans.
  7. Weapondrift

    Weapondrift New Member

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    Why does everything taste like chicken...
  8. dafoxs

    dafoxs New Member

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    Jumbo shrimp.
  9. cchannelz06

    cchannelz06 New Member

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    More of an oxymoron than a ponderism. :)
  10. dafoxs

    dafoxs New Member

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    will have to start a new thread.
  11. cchannelz06

    cchannelz06 New Member

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    Why do people go to fast food joints and order a double triple cheeseburger, super size fries and a diet coke. Seriously, does the diet coke make you feel less guilty.

    Why do people take food out of the freezer to unthaw it. If you want to unthaw something shouldn't you be freezing it.

    Why do people order a cheeseburger with no cheese. Just get a freekin hamburger.
  12. EQBob

    EQBob New Member

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    I order Philly Cheesesteaks without the cheese <G>.
  13. Weapondrift

    Weapondrift New Member

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    why were reverse thread screws invented?! They serve no purpose but to annoy people...
  14. sherri

    sherri Active Member

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    Who the heck "unthaws" something??????? Is that even a word??? You take something out of freezer to thaw it...
  15. EQBob

    EQBob New Member

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    I agree...it confused me too. But I thought you went to bed? <G>
  16. Vazguard

    Vazguard Active Member

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  17. sherri

    sherri Active Member

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    Xanax & Ambien aren't working yet...
  18. cchannelz06

    cchannelz06 New Member

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    Maybe its just an Ohio thing. I hear people say it all the time.
  19. EQBob

    EQBob New Member

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    Yikes...that's a heck of a combination! You do that nightly??
  20. sherri

    sherri Active Member

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    Yes. There are threads and multiple posts here about my sleeping problems. Also have Trazadone...I hate not being able to sleep! Very frustrating...

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