Maybe, for a smile?

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Pythnguy, Feb 4, 2007.

  1. Pythnguy

    Pythnguy New Member

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    Maybe, for a smile?

    1. I can please only one person per day - today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking too good either.

    2. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

    3. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

    4. Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.

    5. If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain the way whales look?
    6. Am I getting smart with you? ....How would you know?

    7. I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.

    8. Today my Reality Check bounced.

    9. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

    10. I have not yet begun to procrastinate.

    11. I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

    12. There are two rules for ultimate success in life.

    13. Never tell everything you know.

    14. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

    15. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

    16. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste
    good with ketchup.

    17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

    18. Someday we'll think back on all this and probably plow into a parked car.

    19. How did people look busy at work before computers?

    20. I hear voices in my head - but they don't speak my language.

    21. Every dog has his day - you missed yours.
  2. grlnxtdr681

    grlnxtdr681 New Member

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    Little Golden Books That Never Made It

    "You Are Different and That's Bad"
    "The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables"
    "Dad's New Wife Robert"
    "Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share"
    "Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book"
    "The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking"
    'Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her"
    "Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence"
    "All Cats Go to Hell"
    "The Little Sissy Who Snitched"
    "Some Kittens Can Fly"
    "That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption"
    "The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator"
    "The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy"
    "Strangers Have the Best Candy"
    "Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way"
    "You Were an Accident"
    "Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will"
    "Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games"
    "The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan"
    "Your Nightmares Are Real"
    "Where Would You Like to Be Buried?"
    "Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School"
    "Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?"
    "Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things"
    "Daddy Drinks Because You Cry"
  3. scottk

    scottk New Member

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    Those Golden Books are so politically incorrect - loved it!!!
  4. grlnxtdr681

    grlnxtdr681 New Member

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    Thank You!

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